When is blonde no longer appropriate?

Would you say she is aging well?

When is this type of look no longer appropriate? 30's 40's 50's?....I mean if you are lucky enough to have blonde hair naturally good on you, but when does this long, bright blonde hair style look inappropriate? I worry that I may have answered my own question and that the days of my BLONDE DO are numbered.

So as mentioned before in a recent post I have around 2 inches of roots. I am really not sure what my natural hair color is but imagine it something horrific and dull. I can vaguely remember using words like muddy, and unfortunate to describe it. So for the last 14 years I have colored it mostly blonde. There has been on occasion where I changed it dramatically:
-there was one time when it went BLACK with PURPLE hues in it and my Nan wouldn't let me in the house because she didn't know who I was
-there was the time when I went swimming right before my grade 12 grad and it was so fried it actually turned GREEN on the ends
-there was also many times I decided to become a BRUNETTE, only to be frightened by my ghostly complexion and the responses of others...it goes something like this

A LOOK, A PAUSE, and A STATEMENT: "looks nice." People are nice but they lie.

Yet even with those "sarcastic statements" being said behind my back and the fact that winter is coming and will make me look dull and drone THE LYRICS TO Baz Luhrmann's song keeps haunting me:

"don't mess too much with your hair or by the time your 40 it will look 85"

I'm in trouble.

I feel like if there is a time to grow it out THIS might be my only real chance...the fact that it is somehow cool and trendy to have the "two-toned" hair look right now...it is as if the universe is tempting me to go for it.
THE OFFICIAL QUEST to uncover MY natural hair color begins ...
For all of you who have made the long voyage back or never strayed too far from the hair color you were genetically meant to have, I salute you!

Judgement

Judgement.

Lets not lie we all do this.

The other day at my yoga class a lady came up and told me that in order to close the doors to the studio I had to hold both knobs...to which I thought "lady I've been coming here for 8 years, I think I know that...and you have been coming here for what? one session."

I took a completely kind situation and turned it into something pretty horrible.

This is not a good attribute...I'm working on it.

When I first got pregnant, I remember feeling the stares and obvious judgement more intensely.

"I can't believe she is wearing that when she is pregnant."

"I can't believe she is still exercising...she is exercising too much."

"I can't believe she is eating that for lunch."

"She is gaining too much weight, she is gaining not enough weight."

"I thought she didn't want to have kids."

Yikes I thought...but I should have known this was only the preamble for becoming a mother.

"Your not taking her out enough."

'Your not breastfeeding."

"She is sleeping too much, or not enough."

"Your too strict with her schedule."

"Your just anxious and that is making the baby anxious."

"Your reading too many books."

"Stop looking on the Internet."

"I don't think she is enjoying motherhood...or perhaps some people might have experienced: "she is just all about the baby, she is smothering that poor thing."

NOTE: Women (all human beings) but mostly WOMEN need to get on the same team.

This team (women) carries a bowling ball around for 9 months, work, possibly have other children at home, make dinner (not me, but some people do this), are expected to look great while doing it and after it, need to smile so that the world knows this whole experience is amazing every moment of every day and combat every last crazy hormonal influx during the course of it...all while we judge each other.

I'm not sure when this started but it needs to stop.

I can only imagine what some people are even thinking while they are reading my blog: family is thinking (Oh dear, she isn't happy), friends could be thinking (Geez she has no idea about punctuation or spelling), random people could be thinking (I hear you).

Judgement.

The funny thing is, if I was writing about how to make Organic baby food, and clean hardwood floors with all natural ingredients you would be judging me as well.

I have a vision in my head of a mom who lets her child wear his Superman pajamas out to the grocery store with his favorite rubber boots...I can't imagine what some people would be saying as she walked by...and the thing IS she'd probably be ready for someone to say something to her just so she could defend herself. A LOT OF TIME spent by both parties on something that doesn't even matter.

So as I shut down my lap top for the day, as my little girl is sleeping upstairs WITH only 1 minute of light crying (APPLAUSE APPLAUSE), I will go out and try to treat everyone with a little more kindness and compassion.

Thanks for reading my rambles.

The rubber boots that I have been eyeing are at Superstore: they are Hunter Green and have lace ups up the front: $34.00 (ish). I included a pic of one pair that they have at Superstore as well.

The other clothing items are from Madewell (sister store of J.Crew).

OH! how my wardrobe has changed.

So...what to wear on maternity leave...and does it matter?

The answer is "yes."

Think of the following scenarios:

1) You have had enough, things are getting overwhelming and basically "you quit." You trudge along just trying to get to that 5:00 time frame...when your husband finally gets home and there is crying CRYING and MORE CRYING...you want to pull the whole "you deal with this I'm out of here scenario" BUT...you realize you are still wearing your pajama pants...NO GOOD.

2) You get ready to go to somewhere exciting like Superstore or Walmart, but your feeling particularly sassy so you decide to put on something crazy like a sweater (cashmere)...AS YOU LEAVE...your offspring decides to unload their entire stomach contents on your sweater...A SWEATER that will stay with puke on it for quite sometime because getting to the dry cleaners is not a top priority...NO GOOD.

3) You head out to Chapters and decide to get a coffee and walk around...AHH MATERNITY LEAVE YOUR THINKIN'. Your baby is wearing something cleverly put together and things are looking good, BUT because you've decided to follow a certain SLEEP book your time frame is very limited...and you've just spent way too much time dressing your baby...SO YOU just grab a coat and head out with little attention paid to YOU. As you arrive at Chapters you see a mom with a baby that is around your babies age...AND her hair is done...AND her pants are not crusted with oatmeal...AND HER baby is wearing one of those whimsical head bands with a flower on it...AND her baby is soooo HAPPY...NO GOOD.

4) You get home from going shopping and you go upstairs to give your baby a bottle and thus hopefully set the scene for them going to bed. Your baby rests their head on your chest and begins to eat, but eyes the clever lululemon tag dangling from your zipper....because your child is "crazy" they begin to obsess about it, touch it and try to EAT IT. The moment of hunger has seemed to subside because now your child is having a love affair with the pull "thing" on your coat...nap time seems to be getting more and more distant....NO GOOD.

5)You wear your pants that are of the "slim fit" kind and go out again TO somewhere exciting like "Save on Foods." You are again feeling pretty happy with yourself for having put on said jeans, a scarf, and that you even took the time to get out your sunglasses...you feel like you have just captured celebrity mom status. Due to your celebrity status and the potential paparazzi around, you decide to go into "supermom" mode when you get home and get on the floor to play with your baby. You soon realize that the slim fitting jeans are very limited in terms of mobility and coverage...NO GOOD.

In all honesty if your like me and do love clothing, maternity leave is tricky.

-You don't want to give up something ELSE you truely adore so you try to keep up to current trends.

-You are on a limited income, your clothes need to be machine washable, stretchy, dual purpose

What I think works:

1. Zippered leggings:makes it look like your still "in it"

2. Great "celebrity status" scarf...keep it in your car or baby bag: something that is soft and you adore...great for covering up barf and drool on your clothing: look on boutiquetoyou.com "love quotes" scarf...pricey but 10% of the proceeds go to the a children's charity and they have cool names like "meditation"

3. T-shirt dress or tunic: basic colors, look on Revolve clothing at these brands BOBI and BB Dakota...usually reasonably priced and often you can find a coupon code to bring it down further.

4. Boots: that have a wide enough shaft (UGGs) that you can hold a baby and stuff your feet into at the same time OR knee high boots and you just figure out how to make it work

5. Watch: necessary if you are schedule Nazi like me, buy one that is colorful just to show the world your not taking things too seriously. Look on revolveclothing.com for a watch like Nixon's blue time teller, or go to Roots for a bright colored watch for $50ish dollars.

6. Jewelery: something that is soft and not too flashy so that it becomes amusement for your child in "quiet-time" activities. Ex: Dogeared karma bracelet

7. Belt: look for one that you can slide over your t-shirt dress or tunic. Look on Anthropologie's website for their tellicherry belt.

Happy?

So here I am 7 months later...a baby, 2 inches of roots, and huge bags under my eyes.

Happy?

AH, the good ole quest for happiness. Does it exist? It seems that in my semi-delusional state of existence due to the lack of sleep I have been currently getting ...

(not because my baby doesn't sleep, but because of the thought that she could not sleep keeps me up all hours of the night)...

I know this doesn't make sense, trust me, I've googled it.

I keep wondering does this Dalai Lama type happiness exist, and is it really (really) hard to obtain, because I'm not going to lie hard work makes me quit...

So I embark on this journey to hear what "His Holiness" has to say about that topic." I mean I get a hole in my new Gypsy05 sweat pants and I cry, this guy lost his country and still seems pretty darn happy, maybe there is something to it AND well truth be told I could use a truck full of happiness these days.

So why the Dalai Lama? WELL... mostly because after 7 months of rocking, patting, restraining my little girl I feel it may be time for her to learn the skill of going to sleep on her own...aka known as CIO method (cry it out method) for those of us who don't read other people's blogs to either hear their painful "GO" of parenting or SOME ADVICE depending on the day. This will come full circle, bare with me...so I download an audio book thinking that perhaps it could keep my mind off of the war going on in the crib upstairs, and help me refrain from LOSING MY FRIGIN MIND...SO with my Marc Weissbluth book in hand, to reassure myself I am "simply loving my baby enough to teach her the skill of sleeping" and my Ipod freshly downloaded with my audio book I retreat to my lair (an air mattress that I sleep on from time to time) that is in the basement. Yes this is my life, don't judge me.

The goal of all human beings is to be happy.

I think to myself...perhaps I need to reset my goals a bit CUZ...currently I'm listening to a baby that I have rocked upwards of 20-30 minutes to sleep just to put her down in the crib and have her eyes to pop open like the exorcist. I have stayed in my JAIL for the last 7 months to "preserve" her sleep schedule like Mr. Weissbluth directed only to have her be unable to fall asleep at all on some days. If the goal of my existence is to be happy, then let me get off my air mattress and take a bath without the fear that the water running will wake up the baby (that is probably not sleeping anyways.)

GOAL NOT ACHIEVED.

The audio book "The Art of Happiness" continues: "We also often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, overreacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally. We tend to take small things too seriously and blow them up out of proportion, while at the same time we often remain indifferent to the really important things, those things which have profound effects on our lives and long-term consequences and implications."

HITTING CLOSER TO HOME: the impermanence of life VS baby not napping well...minor versus major life events. Okay so perhaps my situation is hardly dire, but it is hard. This whole parenting thing is hard...damn it...not death-like hard, but pretty darn hard.

This reality check , however COULD help keep ones clarity and semi-sanity throughout this whole parent thing...life is impermanent (deep I know), and life is a struggle. The Dalai Lama states the first day we are born we are faced with struggles, and will continue to experience them throughout our life...yet we do not scream out "Happy Strugglemas, we say Happy Birthday." If we celebrate and/or accept that life is hard and that struggles will come up it may be in our realm of possibility that we can say "well, YEP there it is another experience, another opportunity to train my mind to deal with this situation with compassion, patience and kindness." I guess easier said then done, but if I really could try and master this then maybe I could have accepted the following phrase: "that's just baby" or "yep that's parenthood for you" and instead of wanting to put people's heads through the wall I may have said YEP parenthood has its struggles, it is to be expected and move on without all they other stuff: GUILT, ANGER AND RESENTMENT.

So as I quest for happiness with my audio book in hand and TEACH my little girl how to sleep (a minor, yet so major, blip on the radar screen of my life)...I think I know one way to cultivate happiness...

So here it is what I want right now...not that desiring and acquiring objects will give me long lasting happiness, but it will take my mind of this noise WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

-the two dresses are from Revolveclothing.com: one is LAMB (expensive), BOBI (not expensive)--the fur vest is on Revolve aswell
-the other puffer vest is from J.Crew., there is an even better one at Lululemon if you can get your hands on it (it has a hood too)

...just sayin'. Nothing better then a pair of leggings, a fur vest to jazz it up, and puffer vest to jazz it down...all while questing for Happiness.